Middle Ground...

Living life in the middle ground can make you feel so torn... reaching for more but being pulled back by fear. Learning to be real but also being pulled back by insecurities. I know life isn't support to be easy but learning to trust fully... to let go of everything but Christ is the hardest. Trusting... Leaning... And Believe that all this is all possible in and through the one who gives life.  So Lord guide my heart.. my life... and my path. Be the protector of my heart and let me truly pour my heart out to those you desire. 

Desert Song...

Life is a consist battle, fighting to keep going, to see the light and to keep my head above water. I've always been one to embrace the valleys with the mountains but these last days have seemed too overwhelming to see God working. I'm not sure if you have ever felt like this but if you have I want to let you know that you're not alone. I'm not one which embraces emotions but the last couple of weeks I have been breaking out in tears. With all the strength inside of me I have tired to hide the tears. Cover up the pain in my heart and the fear I live with. I mask it with a smile covering up the truth. I know I can only hide it for so long but it hasn't be long enough. Each time a little comes out I want to hide even more. Weakness has been something I run from something I leap off of cliffs for. This overwhelming feeling started back up again a couple weeks ago at Church when the worship band started to play Desert Song by Hillsong. It's one of those songs which broke open my heart. I'm not one to easily cry but I couldn't help it. The words moved my heart. I'm a huge fan of Jonah and I think these two go together because of the prayer in the desert. If you think to the times in your life where you feel lost... where you are searching for something... where you feel empty and hopeless.. or when you want to run for what God is calling you too then this song could move you as well. Spend some time reading over the words below...

This is my prayer in the desert

When all that's within me feels dry

This is my prayer in my hunger and need

My God is the God who provides

[Verse 2:]And this is my prayer in the fire

In weakness or trial or painThere is a faith proved

Of more worth than gold

So refine me, Lord, through the flame

[Chorus:]And I will bring praise

I will bring praise

No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice

I will declare

God is my victory and He is here

[Verse 3:]And this is my prayer in the battle

When triumph is still on its way

I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ

So firm on His promise I'll stand

[Chorus:]And I will bring praise

I will bring praise

No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice

I will declare

God is my victory and He is here

[Bridge 4x:]All of my lifeIn every season

You are still God

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship

[Chorus 2x:]And I will bring praise

I will bring praise

No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice

I will declare

God is my victory and He is here

\[Verse 4:]This is my prayer in the harvest

When favor and providence flow

I know I'm filled to be emptied again

The seed I've received I will sow

No matter what's happening in your life I challenge you to bring praise to God for in the desert because he is there with you. No matter how empty you are you have the strength to keep going. Even if it's only for one step because I know the Lord will continue to provide the strength each and every step of the way. In my years of life I have learned that no matter how deep a valley seems the joy at the top will be well worth the journey. So hold on and fight your way back. 

Double Rainbow

One of my favorite thing in life is seeing a rainbow after a strong storm. A couple years ago I discovered the power of a double rainbow. It came during one of the most trying times of my life. Seeing two full rainbows right there next to each other reminded me of God's faithfulness. It is the storms of life that we see God's glory beaming it's light against the after mist of the storm to show one of the most amazing masterpieces, A Rainbow. It's in those times we need reminded of God's love and faithfulness even through the pain and sorrow of life, God never leaves us. I haven't seen a rainbow in a while but I have been reminded of God's faithfulness this last week. He has shown me the rainbow in my own life. Of course, it is not the same as the bright colorful one found in the sky for all to see, but never the less it has brighten my life and shown me the true colors of God's work in and through the rain drops of my life. So when the raindrops begin to fall I will lift my hands to the Lord and allow His rays of light to shine bright for all to see.

Victim or Victor!

Are you a victim or a victor? Choices in life are often overwhelming and often have you praying out to God for help. It is at these moments that you have a choice. Do you become bitter and allow the event in your life to break who you are? or Do you become better and allow it to build who we are? Today when I needed the reminder God provided me with this text. It says, "Every test in our life makes us bitter or better, every problem comes to break us or make us. The choice is ours whether we become victim or victor." God showed me that I have a choice.Yes, life happens and things work against us, however we have choices. We can allow the things of earth to eat away at our souls making us more hopeless and a victim or we can overcoming life and be a victor.

Today I have decided that I will no longer live as a victim. I will raise above the pain and sorrow of this life and stand firm as a victor in Christ because it is only in him I fill solid ground.

Being Known...

Being known is often the most frightening thing is life. Well at least it is for me. I try my hardest to not to be known. To hide who I am because of the fear of being known may cause sadness and pain. My way of life has also been to hide and/or to run every time life becomes overwhelming or uncomfortable. The best way I have controlled or really had a lack of control has been to pack up and move. Six months ago was the first time I moved without running from something or someone. It wasn't an attempt to get away or to start fresh. It was just simply a calling I felt to follow Christ and serve him wherever he would led. This move however has been the hardest. I have spent most nights crying myself to sleep wondering what my purpose is here. Why Lord, Why have you sent me here? I question and ask God to reveal his plan, to show me his path, and to be the light in my life. But more days then most I am left still questioning his plan. I have experience enough sadness in my life to know that brighter days will come. That the clouds will clear from the sky and the light will shine ever so bright. But the cloudy day have made me gloomy. Dreaming of brighter days. Hanging on to the hope because I know even on cloudy days the sun still shines ever so bright behind the clouds. So, days when the world seem to be against me and my first response is to pack and run away I dig in the depth of my soul and grab that hope only you can give. And I pray that some day I will feel safe to be known. Until then I hang on to you.

Room Remodel

So I found a new website with some amazing ideas. I have already put some into action and began a room remodel. Yep that's right! Here is the first of many to come. First I will begin with the before picture of the room.

What You’ll Need:
1. contact paper, (this is for lining drawers, you can find it at hardware or drug stores)
2. ruler
3. scissors or exacto

Instructions:
1. measure your window panes.
2. mark your dimensions on the contact paper and cut out your rectangles. i recommend using a ruler and an exacto blade, but if you draw a clean line and cut neatly with scissors that works as well.
3. carefully peel the paper back from the top of the film and place on the window pane. slowly pull the paper down and smooth down the contact paper with a piece of paper.

Here is the close up of the windows I worked on.

Below is the contact paper I used. I found it at Target.

Now for the final window look.

You can find the orginal project at

 http://www.designspongeonline.com/2009/03/diy-project-window-films.html 

I am looking forward to the final look with the room put back together. I know it will look great and will be a great place to hang out this summer.

Another project is this 3D Snowflake/Flower.



Keep on Keeping on

So my attempt at losing weight has come up short to say the least. The first week I ended up gaining two pounds. I would have to say most of it has been because of my attitude and my lost of motivation. I thought adding to the value of money for China would increase my drive but it has not. So this week I am starting on a positive note. I am going to take the week by storm. With my half-marathon less then a month away I must force myself to get out and run. So far this week I have done well with; Sunday: 3 miles, Monday: 4 miles, Tuesday: 4 miles. The week has only began so I hope to do more the rest of the week. Hopefully this will help jump start my motivation!!

All I can do is just keep on keeping on!