Vulnerability

I've come to realize vulnerability is more than sharing who we are it's about embracing who we are. It's not about the masks we wear or the person we want to be. It is truly about us and who we are when no one is looking and that comes with both the successes and the failures. For me it's often hard to shallow, I've lived so much of my life hidden serving others and forgetting about me. I'm the friend that is there for people when they are in need but I'm also the person who faces most of life alone. I believe the lies that I would be a burden, that I would be too much trouble and to keep to myself is the best for all involved. 

One of the gifts I have been given is empathy. It is one of those gifts you're glad you have, as well as, you wished you didn't have. It's a gift that causes me to greave with those that greave, to cry with those who cry and to ache with pain when those around me are ill. It's an uncontrollable response I wish I could control but I can't. So since I can't control that, I have learned to control my own response to these emotions. I have learned to hide from these emotions... to bury them as far away as possible. To run from the truth and shame myself from even thinking I desired any better. I have beat myself to the ground and deemed myself as unworthy of being known. It's this very thought I battle and I begin the fight against satin and the lies he's wrapped my heart with. I know the road ahead will not be easy and there will be days I want to run away and hide but I go into battle with the one who has already won the war. So with nothing to lose and all to gain I charge to the cross to find life from the one who created my inmost being. It is at the cross I am made new.