Over the past couple of weeks a friend of mine as been pouring out her heart and life to her friends and complete strangers. As I read her blog my heartaches in pain wanting to reach out and offer a helping hand. Even through I know our paths come from different places our experiences and trials seem to have similarities. Through her transparency I offer this glimpse of my own life to her and each one of you. And here we go...
The feeling of emptiness, of loneliness, and helplessness. All these things seem to overwhelm a soul. Feeling lost in this world, no where to turn, no hope for the soul. I keep turning, turning to find a way out, searching and searching for a way up, but only getting deeper and deeper under the weight of the world. My shoulders feel like they are going to crash to the ground. Wishing and hoping for a moment, just one moment of stillness, to recollect my thoughts, my desires, and my strengths. Overwhelmed by my past, the heartbreak, the feeling of uselessness, and nothingness fills my every thought. I try to build my strength to stand up on my own but the weight of everything pushes me deeper down. So I continue the search for a way out, to be filled, and complete. I tried filling my life with more and more things to block out these feeling. To distract myself from the emotions that continued to haunt my mind. I even searched for happiness in money, men, and friendships. But when I felt my life beginning to crash to the ground no one was there to catch me or soften my fall. One night in the stillness of the air I crashed. I crashed harder then ever before, but this time I cried out for help, for something greater to reach down and pick me up. From the depths of my soul I cried, I cried, and I cried tell there were no more emotions left in my bones and there out of nowhere was a light. A light of hope reaching out to pick me up and stand me on a foundation of rocks. Before that day I didn't realize the power, strength, and love of the Lord. He filled me up with his spirit and lifted the weight of the world off of my shoulders onto his own. His desires for my life were more then I could ever of imagined. He put his flame in my soul that day and changed the way I view the world. That day the Lord planted a seed in my heart and even today it continues to grow stronger and stronger as the Lord's light shines bright in my life for everyone to see.
I pray from the depths of my heart and soul that you to would cry out to the Lord and allow him to completely fill your life. To offer the weight of the world into his arms and be completely absorbed my his love and grace.
God Bless each and everyone of you!