Rest

With the heartache and pains of life I have let way to much stuff get in the way of my dreams and my relationship with Christ. Today for the first time in about four months I sat down in a park and talked to God. I found myself reading Ephesians and learning about Christ love all over again. For the first time in four months I felt free. I felt forgiven, chosen, and loved. So tonight I leave you with these passage in Ephesians: "I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." (Ep 4:1-2)

Lost

Over the last couple of months I have felt lost. No where to turn and no direction. Where do I go from here and what do I do now, are often questions I find myself asking. I try to search but the road seems so short. Every options seems like I'm running. Running from fear, commitment, friends.... When will I see the light and find my way. When will I ever be free of this worry and doubt?

A Simple I'm Sorry

"In your anger do not sin" Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
~Ephesians 4:26

My Strength & Shield

The Lord is my strength and shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.
-Psalm 28:7

Tug-of-War

Last night I attended a class at Southland Christian Church and they shared a story with us about the tug-of-war in life and how great our father's love is for us. It was an amazing story that hit home, so I thought I would share it with you as well. Enjoy!

Some years ago, on a hot summer day in South Florida , a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore. His father, working in the yard, saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could. Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator. Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his father's fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he loved. The newspaper reporter, who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn't let go." You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to you. The Scripture teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way. But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril - and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That's when the tug-of-war begins - and if you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful. He did not and will not ever let you go.

Now I have to ask, Which scars do you show?

Broken

Words? Where are you? I've tried writing about so much. The KY Horse Park, Alaskan Cruise, Berry Picking, 4th of July Celebration, Horseback riding, and even sleeping under the stars, but nothing seemed important. Life the last month has been some what of a roller coaster. Everything important in my life, that keeps me stable has been wiped out from under me. The last blow come yesterday, and to be honest I was not surprised. As I sat there taking it in I not only cried but laughed. I started laughing at my life, at God... Why? I found myself thinking, really God is this all you got. I throw up my arms in anger and said "take it." I'm tired of it all anyways. Just take every single thing it my life while you are at it. I know you will come back for it anyways. Just take it! Frustration overwhelmed me at that moment but for some reason I began to feel at peace.

In so many areas of my life I have settled for less. I've been fearful of what might happen. This summer I followed Jesus to KY because I felt him wanting to do big things in my life. He has and so far it has been horrible, to be honest! With change I am learning you MUST become broken first, and I sure have been broken. This 'Dream Big' theme is my theme for the year. Jesus reminded me of this on the 4th of July as we drove down the street. On a fence someone had spray painted the words, 'DREAM BIG.' It was a great reminder.

So here is to Jesus picking up the pieces, and to the dreams in the making...

Memorial Day - Bike Lexington

On a mission to enjoy everything Lexington has to offer!

After searching for bike routes around town we came across 'Bike Lexington' which is a 10 mile family fun bike ride around downtown Lexington and UK's campus. We really didn't know what the day would have to offer but soon enough we would. Over 1000 bike riders came out to enjoy the ride. People of all ages, look at this little guy. He just kept peddling. How cute :D

The weather started out beautiful but the Lord had other plans. Just at around mile 8 it started to down pour. At first I wasn't to fond of the idea of getting wet but after a little while I started to enjoy it. Some times in life you just need to dance in the rain and laugh, we well just danced with bikes!


This was Lara's first long distance ride and she did great finishing 16 miles with no problem! The rain didn't even get in her way at all!

What a ride and what a way to enjoy Memorial Day. The Lord is truly blessing us with health and the ability to explore his creation. May the Lord continue to strengthen us and allow our bodies to be his temples.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own. ~1 Corinthian 6:19

Taiwanese BBQ - Bible Study

My journey has been full of trusting the Lord and walking arm in arm with him. Making the decision to moved to KY for the summer was not easy. There was a lot of uncertainty with the decision. However the Lord continued to comfort and support the move. I knew he had things planned for me but what they were I had no idea. Going into this summer I knew he wanted me to focus on my relationship with him. Learning to completely rely on him and build my life completely around him. One thing the Lord has continued to lead me to is interacting with internationals. Shortly after arriving the Lord opened an opportunity to share his word with Chia-Hung. From this conversation he invited Lara and I to attend a Taiwanese BBQ - Bible Study. You would never image the food that they have at these type of events. I'm not sure where they got all the food but they kept bring out more and more. We had hamburgers, chicken, shrimp, steak, pork, broccoli, watermelon, and ... This meal continue for well over four hours. After filling ourselves past full we were blessed with hearing praise music in Chinese. This was an amazing evening trusting the Lord and watching his love shine in different languages. His love truly moves the mountains and crosses the oceans. The night ended with our new friend Chia-Hung receiving a bible. This is his first bible ever and I am looking forward to watching the Lord reveal himself to him. Please keep Chia-Hung in your prayers as he begins to learn who Jesus is and what he did for us.
Revelation 3:20 - Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

The Great Adventure 2009: Begins

Along the road of life we will set out on adventures. Adventures to find our self, to discover the world, explore the unknown, and any other reasons to get away. I set out on the adventure of faith. To follow the Lord and to walk by faith instead of by sight. As I look out my window I quickly see the distance fading out behind me. Wondering what the future holds, I am unsure but I look back on what brought me here to this very point. And that is to trust the Lord, to walk by faith, and to live for the moment. I am embark on a journey many will
dream but few will travel.

I begin my journey with a hungry heart. A desire to grow in faith and to build a foundation on Christ. A desire to live each day and to fully trust in the Lord. To not just go through the motions but to experience life, to embrace the lows, absorb the highs, and to truly experience the love of Christ.

I offer this time to the Lord. The adventure is in his hands. Over the next three months the Lord will be in the driver seat directing the adventure, the path, and the plans. What seemed like another one of my crazy ideas was indeed sparked by the Lord himself. So come along as I share my adventures, struggles, and joys.

However on this adventure I leave my thoughts, desires, and my path behind because the Lord has said:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8-9

I leave you with this final thought because if there is one thing I have learned, it is that my path takes me through many valleys, so: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6

The Great Adventure 2009: Step 2

Step two of the great adventure began with packing! Now how do you pack for three trips in four months all at one time??? Now that is a question I'm still not sure but I did my best. It would be one thing if these adventures would be in the same climate but nope, not for my luck. But that's ok because that is part of the journey the Lord is laying before me.

So I continued to pack and sort through all of the clothes I own. I guess I never knew I had so many but finally I was able to manage to organize this madness and clean up my mess. All nicely packed or should I say stuffed into three bags.
If I forgot something at this point I'll just have to find the closet Wal-Mart. :D

So now I'm off, ready to begin my journey and rely on Jesus' Strength and his ability to provide. Please join me on this journey as the Lord molds and shapes me into the women he created me to be.

God Bless each of you.

The Great Adventure 2009: Step 1

The start of another journey... I never could of imagine what the Lord would do with my life. Over the next four months the Lord will be working in ways I never knew he could. Next week I will be packing up and riding a bicycle around the state of Indiana for Habitat for Humanity. A total of 350 miles. The day after I get back I will be moving to KY. So, last night I starting preparing for my great adventure by cleaning out my storage unit, my car! This might not be to hard for to many people but for me this is a once in a life time task. As you can see the piles began to build up out side the car. After a couple of hours you can see that there is a huge improvement. I can't remember the last time my car has looked this good on the inside. I think it might of been eight years ago when I bought it.

Many who know me will love the next photo. Now, here is a question for you. What do you keep in your trunk???? After cleaning through the piles, only the necessary items remained. For me I found my first aid/tool box, a blanket, scraper, kite, and yes crutches! You never know what adventure the Lord will send you on and you never know what shape he will bring you back in.

So with that said I pray that the Lord keep and protect me on this adventure with him. May the Lord provide for all my needs and allow me to grow in my relationship with him. For he is the Lord Almighty, maker of heaven and earth and above all my creator!

Life Lesson

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass,
it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Refresh

Over the last week I have had very little sleep. My mind has been processing all the choices and life decisions I have to make. Each morning however I have been blessed with waking up and reading the KLove Encouraging Word of the day. On Sunday when I was first faced with me decision of picking up my roots this summer and moving I felt completely overwhelmed. However the Lord showed me to look to him and to trust him with the path he is leading. This is the verse he shared with me...

Let me hear of your unfailing love in the morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I have come to you in prayer.
~ Psalm 143:8

Wow, Lord you will show me the path. I didn't realize how powerful this was tell looking back on my week. On Monday I was beginning to question the Lord's path for me. My faith in him was starting to lack and be replaced with selfish desires. Then over the next couple of days the Lord shared Philippians 3:9 and 1 Corinthians 12:31 with me.

I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ.
~ Philippians 3:9

So you should earnestly desire the most helpful gifts.
~ 1 Corinthians 12:31

The Lord was opening my eyes to the fact I was desiring not his will but my own. I was afraid of being broken down so I could be built up. Of being exposed of the truth. I was trying to cover-up the path the Lord was laying by coming up with reasons why I shouldn't follow. How he once again answered with...

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
~ Matthew 6:33

With that I questioned the pain I would travel through, the heartache, and the exposure I would be placed in. But the Lord comforted me with Isaiah.

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.
~ Isaiah 43:2

For I know the Lord will be with me. His hand will be guiding my path and my desires shall now becomes his. The Lord will carry me and then let me crawl and then he will offer his hand and I will stand up. I will stand on his rock and my foundation will be on him.

God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.
~ John 3:17

Along the walk I will learn to only seek Jesus approval. For only by the Son am I saved.

This morning when I woke up I was overwhelmed by the encouragement the Lord gave me. I was wondering how would I be able to make it Lord through the summer, walking by faith?? I am often reminded of my ability to be very hard headed. I would say the I just have a extremely high will power, but you can say it however you would like. If someone told me that I couldn't do something I would prove them wrong. I was always quick to respond and stand up for myself. This summer I know the Lord will be molding me in this area. How, I'm not sure but I know the Lord will be working his will. He reminded me of this in today's verse...

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: you must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.
~ James 1:19-10

So will the Lord give me the ability to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to angry. I'm looking forward to this opportunity and as one of my friend said I am looking forward to being bubble gum. Being chewed, spit out, and sticking to Jesus. For then the Lord will do the walking and directing all the turns on the road of life. Never again will I be alone.

I praise the Lord for showing his will for me and directing me through my hard headed desires. May I be refreshed by his desires and seek him everyday of my life. This week was just the start of the journey we are on and I can't wait to see the amazing work he is doing.

Until next time may the Lord be with you and grant you peace!!

Cheer up pup!

A good friend of mine used to always be able to cheer me up, with the simple words of, 'Cheer up pup!' The beaming smirk coming from there face was irresistible and made me laugh every time. I tried to fight it off but with all my strength I was never able to stay in a grumpy mood. This came to my mind today as I try to seek Jesus' smirk to overcome this grumpy mood I have been in for way to long. Everything seems to be pushing the wrong buttons and I can't seem to find a way out. I search and search and I pray for direction and strength to overcome this period of my life.

Day-by-day

Each day I turn to the Lord to praise him for the abilities he has provided me. The ability to walk, to dance, and even to cry. Today, I joined Jesus in a time of submission. Walking arm-in-arm with him around campus. Learning his plan for me and how he must break me of my own hard headed strength so that I can completely submit myself to him. I began crying over my past ways and at that moment the Lord began crying with me. I felt the gentle hand of the Lord reaching down to me. I lifted my arms and began dancing in Jesus' tears. The cares of the world disappeared and over the next hour I had the most intense conversation with Jesus I have ever had. Laying my heart and mind at his feet so he could soften them. I walked down the isle with Jesus' and recommitted my love for him. Submitting to his power, grace, and his will for me. So each day I will praise the Lord for his strength and his will to not only submit to him but to every brother in Christ.

Overwhelming Pain

Life has began taking a toll on my body and my mind. I lay here in pain, I pray to the Lord for his healing hands. The aches have been increasing and my head is exploding. I can fill my heart beat in my head and it just seems like I can't find rest. I'm so young for this and so I pray for the Lord to work his healing hands. To grant me peace and rest in this time of pain.

Just-in-time (JIT)

I listened to a sermon this past weekend that really got my attention. It started out with the concept of JIT, which means, just-in-time. JIT is an inventory strategy that improves the return on investment of a business. This is because you are reducing your inventory and the cost associated with storing it. In order to achieve JIT you must have signals of what is going on everywhere else within the process. When this process is successful you will increase your return on investment, quality, and efficiency. With the economy the way it is more and more companies are switching to this method. Now you may be wondering what does this have anything to do with being a Christian, with living life, and walking a path with Jesus. It has everything!!! Living life with Jesus is depending on Jesus in all times. Even when we are at our last straw. When we think life is to hard that we want to give up and throw in the towel Jesus comes in and provides a way out. Looking back in my past I see many ways Jesus has worked in my life to provide for me. Often I would question if Jesus was on my side. If he really cared for me. Or even how would I pay for my next month's rent. All these things Jesus provided for. In Exodus 16 the Lord tells the people that manna will fall from the sky. Each day the people were to go and gather up enough manna for that day, and only that day. They were not to gather more then they needed. If they did it would be full of maggots and smell the next morning. So each day the people would go out in the morning and gather enough just for the day. This is a great way for the Lord to show how he is providing each and every day for our needs. No matter how crazy life gets I know that Jesus' JIT strategy for my life is prefect and will allow me to be what he created me to be. To be completely dependent upon him!!!!

Crashing Down

As the waves of the world crash around me I stand firm! I throw up my arms and praise the Lord for the strength he has given me, for the love, for the freedom, and for the joys of the world. Standing there I embrace the waves that crash over the walls I've built in my life. As I watch the waves crash my walls to the ground I begin to dance with the Lord. Singing his praises and truly forgetting about the waves that are crashing around me. Becoming lost in his eyes, his word, and in his love. Truly trusting everything I am, in his hands.

We Need Each Other

A good friend of mine recommended a song to me the other day called 'We Need Each Other' by Sanctus Real. It's a great song to listen to when you feel like you are alone in the world with no where to turn. I used to hide who I was and what I thought because I didn't know how people would react. Then I started to think that I was support to guard my heart and only turn to God. However, I was wrong. One of the greatest things God gives us is our relationships with others. Even through they may break our hearts and leave us when we needed them most. We must forgive and grow from these times because the pains of not having friends to turn to is even worst then having an amazing friend who is human. So through the highs and lows I will not only turn to the Lord but I will also seek the friends that the Lord put into my life. So to you my friend, I thank you for blessing me and opening my eyes to the fact I need you, I need friends to turn to, and no matter what I need to learn to love, 'taking the good with the bad and the ugly.'

SANCTUS REAL - WE NEED EACH OTHER

I think I caught a glimpse of
Life without friends
Bitter, empty, hollow, dark and lonely
We never meant to hurt each other
So Can’t we trust again
And take it as a chance
To keep on growing

I don’t know why it doesn’t come easy
But I know that we could be happy
If we’d only learn to love

Oh oh we need each other
So what’s the fighting for
Oh oh we need each other
Please don’t close the door
Oh oh we need each other
Through all the highs and lows
Oh oh we need each other
‘Coz no one’s meant to live alone

Life revolves around the need
Of having someone
Causing every complicated feeling
Oh and I don’t want to loose you
And there is nothing wrong with
Telling me what you need
To keep our love strong

It’s just a part of being a family
Taking the good with the bad and the ugly
If we could only learn to love

Oh oh we need each other
So what’s the fighting for
Oh oh we need each other
Please don’t close the door
Oh oh we need each other
Through all the highs and lows
Oh oh we need each other
‘Coz I don’t want to be alone

Oh Oh we need each other
Fathers and Mothers
Oh oh we need each other
All your sisters and brothers
Oh oh we need each other
We need friends and lovers
Oh Oh we need each other

Well I need you
You need me
‘Coz that’s the way
It’s meant to be
I need you
We need each other
I don’t want to be alone

Well I need you
You need me
‘Coz that’s the way
It’s meant to be
I need you
We need each other
I don’t want to be alone

New Pair of Shoes

Tonight, I stood at the foot of the cross and watched as my sins were nailed to it. The power and emotion that over came me was something I wasn't expecting. Freedom and peace was released from with in that was pushing to find a way out. My whole life I have always carried a pair of running shoes with me. Whenever life got hard or something didn't go my way I would just put on another mask and my running shoes and run. New places, new faces, and new opportunities to be someone different, and someone else. I never knew what this was doing to my heart tell I tried handing my shoes over when I gave my heart to Jesus. I didn't know a life with out them and what would happen if I took a wrong turn. There would be no way out. How could I keep my head above water with out them. I feared that exposing my true identity would leave me all alone and empty. But what I realized tonight was that by keeping my running shoes around they were creating a sense of emptiness and loneliness in my life. The desire to hand my running shoes over has became increasing powerful and tonight I made the decision to finally trade Jesus shoes. To hand over my running shoes for a brand new pair of shoes, dancing shoes. Not any type of shoes but hand crafted one-of-a-kind dancing shoes made just for me. So, I begin the new dance in my life, as I follow, may I learn to trust and truly lean on my leader and Savior, Jesus.

Chris Tomlin - I Will Rise
From the album Hello Love

I Will Rise - Chris Tomlin

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say, "it is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

Chorus:
I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God, fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

And I hear the voice of many angels sing, "worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart, "worthy is the Lamb"

Let Your Life Speak

"We have places of fear inside of us, but we have other places as well - places with names like trust and hope and faith. We can choose to lead from one of those places, to stand on ground that is not riddled with the fault lines of fear, to move toward others from a place of promise instead of anxiety. As we stand in one of those places, fear may remain close at hand and our spirits may still tremble. But now we stand on ground that will support us, ground from which we can lead others toward a more trustworthy, more hopeful, more faithful way of being in the world."

~ Parker J. Palmer

Ready to Run

As the waves of the world crash down on me I try to stand strong and firm but before I know it I’m running. Running from the waves, from the pain, and from the loneness of the world. Hoping and praying that someone or something would run after me. Wrapping me in their arms and telling me that it will be alright because with Jesus the waves of the world may crash at our door but they will never overcome us. Until then I’ll keep running.

Finding Rest

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.

~ Psalm 62:5-8

My Prayer

O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

~ Psalm 139: 1-24

Weight of the World

Over the past couple of weeks a friend of mine as been pouring out her heart and life to her friends and complete strangers. As I read her blog my heartaches in pain wanting to reach out and offer a helping hand. Even through I know our paths come from different places our experiences and trials seem to have similarities. Through her transparency I offer this glimpse of my own life to her and each one of you. And here we go...

The feeling of emptiness, of loneliness, and helplessness. All these things seem to overwhelm a soul. Feeling lost in this world, no where to turn, no hope for the soul. I keep turning, turning to find a way out, searching and searching for a way up, but only getting deeper and deeper under the weight of the world. My shoulders feel like they are going to crash to the ground. Wishing and hoping for a moment, just one moment of stillness, to recollect my thoughts, my desires, and my strengths. Overwhelmed by my past, the heartbreak, the feeling of uselessness, and nothingness fills my every thought. I try to build my strength to stand up on my own but the weight of everything pushes me deeper down. So I continue the search for a way out, to be filled, and complete. I tried filling my life with more and more things to block out these feeling. To distract myself from the emotions that continued to haunt my mind. I even searched for happiness in money, men, and friendships. But when I felt my life beginning to crash to the ground no one was there to catch me or soften my fall. One night in the stillness of the air I crashed. I crashed harder then ever before, but this time I cried out for help, for something greater to reach down and pick me up. From the depths of my soul I cried, I cried, and I cried tell there were no more emotions left in my bones and there out of nowhere was a light. A light of hope reaching out to pick me up and stand me on a foundation of rocks. Before that day I didn't realize the power, strength, and love of the Lord. He filled me up with his spirit and lifted the weight of the world off of my shoulders onto his own. His desires for my life were more then I could ever of imagined. He put his flame in my soul that day and changed the way I view the world. That day the Lord planted a seed in my heart and even today it continues to grow stronger and stronger as the Lord's light shines bright in my life for everyone to see.

I pray from the depths of my heart and soul that you to would cry out to the Lord and allow him to completely fill your life. To offer the weight of the world into his arms and be completely absorbed my his love and grace.

God Bless each and everyone of you!

Light of my Life

Over the past 3 or 4 months I have lost the fire in my life, in my heart, and in my soul. I have allowed other's views of me control my actions, and most of all my relationship with Jesus. This is because the more I listen to others and focused on their views the more and more I felt Jesus fading in my life. I continued to clean out the different areas in my life I knew were not Jesus' plan however by the time I got to the next area of my life that last area was beginning to fad away. Life began to become overwhelming with everything that I had on my plate. I searched and searched for Jesus' hand but I was blinded by my own self-image and my own need. I felt lost in my own body. I wanted to run and hide but I had nothing to hide be hide. In stead of changing I became angry at my self, hating everything that I had become. Knowing the relationship I needed in my life was being pushed out of my life because of my own sin. This made me fill with deep sadness.

This last weekend I was able to meet up with some friends that encouraged me to seek Jesus once again from a different angle. To have a heart fill confession and lay everything down at his feet. Well singing praise songs at the conference I attended I felt Jesus pulling at my heart. I bowed my head and prayed, and confessed, and poured my heart to Jesus. I laid all my troubles an the table and my heart felted released. After the conference I was on my way home when Jesus' truly spoke to me. I was just driving down that road when my eyes filled with tears. I was overwhelmed with emotions. I continued to release my struggles with my image, loneliness, career, education, and everything else that was on my heart. I poured everything in to his hands and he took it all. Every last bit of it. He placed his arms around me and drew me into himself. At that moment I felt the life breathed into me. I felt the light being brought back into my life and the joy radiate from my body. I praise Jesus for bring this light/life back and lifting the weight from my shoulders. Now may I look up to Jesus each and every moment of my life! May I praise him each and every day of my life.

By Your Side, Tenth Avenue North

Tonight I was driving home and this song came on the radio that broke my heart open. Take a listen and then read over the lyrics. Everything about the song is true in my life right now. I hope you enjoy and God Bless.

By Your Side - Tenth Avenue No...

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Life Lessons from a Car

For the last three days my car has been sitting on the side of the road, dead. Each time I tried to start the engine my little car gave all it had to start, however it was just cold and lifeless. I tried just letting it sit and have the sun warm it up and I even tried my best attempt to jump-starting it. And yes I did have to google 'how to jump start a car'. However, nothing seems to work. Finally I gave in and called to have it towed away. When they finally arrived I was talking to the guy about what was wrong. He got in the car and continually tried to start it. My car put up a fight with him. It made all kinds of noises, movements, and release gas, but after about 10 minutes it started. This made me think about life and how we put up a fight against Jesus. We try everything to live a happy, fullfilling life but nothing seems to work. We hand different elements over to Jesus and we show little signs of life but it never lasts long. It's only when we throw up are arms and hand everything over to Jesus and allow him to clean and mold us into the person he create, do we show signs of life and start living.

Nothing to Good

This week I was reflecting on the past year. Just over a year ago my view on life completely changed. I learned that nothing in life is too good and that I don't have to settle for less. I used to think that I would always have to change for the people that came into my life. Plus I never thought I could have a man of my dreams. All the guys that came into my life I liked were just too good for me or the ones that liked me treated me like dirt. However, a year ago I learned that God was molding a man to be my future husband. That I didn't need to give in to a man that would harm me and force me to change to be someone that I'm not. Plus all the men I thought were too good for me really and truly are nothing compared to the man Jesus is molding to bring into my life. I can't wait tell that day and I take each day as a chance for Jesus to also mold me.

Lesson learned from a homeless man

The other day I was sitting at a coffee shop working on a project for work when a man joined me at my table. Not a big deal because it happens all the time, however this time it wasn't the same. He began a conversation with me that lasted for about 2 hours. As we continued our conversation I began to feel God working in our conversation. I began talking to him about Jesus and gave a couple of verses Jesus was speaking to me. I new from the start the man was homeless however I didn't want it to change the way I interacted with him. Through our conversation we talked about hope, dreams, and friendships. I talked to him about how I could depend on my friends to be there for me. How I could count on them and so on. It was a real eye opener because often you forget. As the night got later I became afraid on the man that sat on the other side of the table. Not because of something he did but because of his unstable mental help that was revealed. Then and truly then was when I reminded of how great my friends are. With a single text message I was able to contact a great friend of mine who responded and was at the coffee shop within 15 minutes to walk me to my car. That night was a great reminder of true friendship and the power of Jesus Christ in our life. He provides opportunities to help people in need of encouragement as well as providing protect for our safety. All you have to do is to put your trust in him!

A lesson to learn

"You can't change a person, you can only change the way you react."

Looking at Life!

The way you look at life can completely change your life and attitude. It's kind of like the old saying of is the glass half full or half empty. Over the last month I can look at all the bad and disappointing things that has occurred and give up, or I can praise God for the special moments he has provided for me. I can bury my head in my lap and cry or I can pick my self up and cherish my time here on earth. It kind of has to do with my theme for this year, "Dream Big." I can take the set backs and stop dreaming or I can push on and dream bigger dreams. Tomorrow I am celebrating my 24th Birthday and I am going to start off by looking at my life from a new angle. I want to stop viewing my life for all the bad and disappointments that occur. I want to praise God for all the amazing things in my life and the beautiful person he has created me to be. My whole life I have always dreamed of being beautiful and looking a certain way. But each day I am learning how beauty comes from believing in yourself. Reflecting your love in your heart, and allowing the glow to shine bright. So may the love in my heart shine bright for all to see and allow me to view life in a completely new way. May I take the disappointments in life and turn them to be lessons and blessings and may I praise Jesus for all the wonders he brings my way! May tomorrow be a start of something new, something beautiful!

Dreaming BIG!

A couple of friends of mine have this tradition of having a theme for each year of there life. Over the last month I have been thinking about what my theme was going to be. Well there's lots of things I would like to do and to accomplish over the next year of my life, and it's been hard coming up with just one theme. So I have finally narrowed it down and the theme for my 24th year is to "Dream Big." Lately I have settled for less in life and have given up before allowing God to work in my life. So this year I am going to "Dream BIG" with Jesus by my side. I can't wait to see what he has planned this year and the years to come. May I be open to the opportunities and allow him to work in every area of my life.

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

Not So Special

Over the past couple of weeks I have been thinking about what would make my birthday special. Many might think that I don't enjoy celebrating it. However I am filled with excitement of the day. The only thing that turns me away from my birthday is what others would say as the inconvenience of it. All my life I have only wanted my friends to join me on my birthday for a celebration. Doing something that I enjoy and helped planned. You see often people tell me I have a great birthday (December 31st) because everyone is celebrating. Yes this might be good for someone who enjoys the party life but that's just not me and yes everyone is celebrating somewhere else. Most of the time my birthday gets missed all together and/or blended with Christmas. The last couple of years I have tried to celebrate my birthday by myself and don't get me wrong I had a great time, however something was missing. The laughter! This year I decided I would postpone my birthday and just have a celebration when everyone gets back. Now I really don't want this out of the bag tell last minute because I want people to come with out knowing it's a birthday celebration. I want them to come, because they want too! They want to enjoy a nice get away with there friends. Most of the time I will give into other to make things convenient for them. This time however I am standing firm, even if I go alone to celebrate. For I rather spend a day alone then with a friend in a rush. So I pray that God will take my not so special birthday and turn it into something breath taking!

Prayer

"When life gets too hard to stand... kneel."